Cajungator Blues, Part II

Elephant Gerald shocked himself when he threw the little alligator out of the Who Do Voodoo Novelty Shop. He had never even harmed so much as a spider in his life. Billie Goat Holiday wrapped her arms around his neck in relief after the squirmy gator tried to attack them.

“I shouldn’t have done that,” Gerald said nervously.

“You saved me, Gerald. You saved me!” cried Billie, still hanging on.

Gerald pried Billie off and found even more courage from somewhere deep inside. “Mr. Cajungator, sir, we’re not looking for any trouble,” said Gerald. “We’re just looking for a little good luck charm for my friend John.”

“Ahem,” Billie chimed in.

“And Miss Billie here likes one of those purses in the window.”

“Why Elephant Gerald,” said Cajungator. “I must apologize for the actions of my young nephew. He and his brothers are a bit…unruly at times.”

“How do you know my name?” asked Gerald.

“Oh, I’ve known your mama and daddy for a long time,” said Cajungator with a slight smirk.

“My daddy? You knew who my daddy was?” For just a split second Gerald saw Cajungator’s face go from a smirk to a snarl as if his question angered the gator. But Cajungator’s face changed again to a large toothy grin.

“Well, I…uhhh…I used to see him around when your mama played at Miss Kitty’s Playce. Such a shame he disappeared before you got to know him.” Gerald again saw a flicker of anger in Cajungator’s eyes, but didn’t want to talk about his daddy with him anymore.

Outside, the little stunned alligator was splayed out on the boardwalk.  Django and Johnny had been staring down at him in disbelief ever since he flew out the door. With one eye closed and one eye rolled back in his head the little gator was out cold. Only the black claws on his feet were twitching.

John bent down and fluttered his wing over the gator’s belly. Slowly the gator began to move, first his hind legs then his front legs. His head rolled back and when he opened both eyes and saw the crane over him, he grinned like the Cheshire cat.

“Careful, there, John. He may be little but that snout looks mighty sharp to me,” Django said.

John was trembling but didn’t want the gator to get away. With one wing on the gator and the other wrapped around Django, John hollered out to Gerald and Billie.

“I got him, Gerald. Come on out!”  Quick as a flash the little gator slipped out from under John’s wings. He nipped at his delicate crane legs, but barely missed. John squawked and hopped from foot to foot, and with a sudden movement jumped onto Django’s back. He gripped Django around the neck, hanging on for dear life.

The little gator used the diversion to slither through the door of the shop and hide in a dark corner.  “Heee, heee, heee, haw, haw, haw,” he snickered to himself.

Django, now completely blinded by John’s gripping wings, tried to shake him off. The more he danced around, the harder John held on. “John, get a grip on yourself. Let me go,” Django shouted.

“I got a grip, alright. Gerald, help!”

“I’m staying until I get what I just paid for.” Gerald called out bravely. “I’m gettin’ your lucky charm and I promised Billie a purse.”

“After all this, I better get my purse,” Billie hissed. She looked back to the counter and saw the Cajungator was gone. The Who Do Voodoo Novelty Shop was darker now; the late afternoon sun was setting behind the trees. Billie was so afraid of the dark, and she knew she better get out of there and on her way home soon.

“Gerald,” she whispered nervously, “Where’s Cajungator?”

“What?”

“Ohhh, we need to get out of here, Gerald.” Billie gasped. “Look over there!”

Gerald turned slowly around. They couldn’t believe what they saw. Inside the door shadowed by the setting sun was Django with Johnny’s wings wrapped around his head. Django was completely blinded and did not see what was behind him. There were two more little gators outside who were pushing them into the shop. Cajungator was still nowhere to be seen, and it was getting darker inside the shop.

“Hee, hee, hee, ha-ha-haaa,” the sound of the little gators laughter pierced through the room as they pushed Django and John through the door. The first little gator that Elephant Gerald had flung out the door came out of his dark corner. He flipped his tail to his head in salute of his two comrades as they scurried over to him.

“Ohhh, Gerald,” Billie Goat Holiday whispered, “What you gonna’ do?”

John finally moved his wings enough for Django to see, but the crane wouldn’t get off his back. They were scared stiff looking around the musty room. “Squuaaawwwwkkkk,” said John. “I don’t want no good luck charm any more Gerald!”

Cajungator suddenly appeared in front of the doorway looking like a ghost; his pearly white reptile skin reflected the little remaining light. His mouth was curved in a smile as he started to sing his favorite song.

I get up when you're going down

I'm happy when you're blue

I'm at my best when you're at your worst

That's when my badness shines through.

The three little gators swayed doo-wop style next to their uncle, snapping their claws in time to the music.

I feel good when things are going bad

I feel your pain, it makes me giddy glad

I'm so sleazy and slimy, so sick and so sad

Oh how I love me - I'm so bad!

I've got tricks that are trickier

Than the trickiest of tricks

Tricks that'll hit you

Like a ton of bricks.

I've got tricks up my sleeve

In my hat and my coat

All these tricks are what floats my boat.

I feel good when things are going bad

I feel your pain and it makes me giddy glad

I'm so sleazy and slimy, so sick and so sad

Oh how I love me - I'm so bad!

Oh how I love me - I'm so bad!

Django, Billie, and John turned to Gerald, who for the first time actually thought they may never get out of Cajungator’s shop alive.

 

Come back next Sunday for the conclusion of "Cajungator Blues"  
to see who Cajungator wants for a prize in his shop!
In the meantime, listen to "I Love Me, I'm So Bad" 
written and performed by Robert J.

 

 

Cajungator Blues, Part I

“Mmmmwah! Mmmmwah!  Mmmmwahhhhh!”

“John Cole Crane! Will you please stop kissing the ground?” Billie Goat Holiday shouted. “Get back in the air so you’re outta’ my way!”

“I ain’t never going fishing again,” John said as he hugged his saxophone tighter and kissed the ground one more time. “Praise be, we’re almost home and away from that nasty river.”

“I’m sure glad no gator got you, John,” Django Rhinoceros said, adjusting the guitar slung over his back.

“Me too, Johnny bird,” said Elephant Gerald. “I don’t want you to worry about that river any more. I got me a plan so you’ll have no worries about going fishing again.”

The four friends were just about to the Little Moon river walk where things were as normal as a pecan pie at Thanksgiving. Elephant Gerald was still feeling like John Cole Crane almost drowned because his lucky lure had disappeared. He needed to head into the Who Do Voodoo Novelty Shop and see if he could find some sort of good luck charm for John to have so he could go fishing again.

“I ain’t going in there,” Billie said suspiciously. “It’s dark and creepy, and I don’t like that big ol’ albino alligator.”

“Oh, Billie, it’s just old and dusty. That shop is like 100 years old. And Cajungator never hurt nobody. Mama says his bark is worse than his bite,” Gerald said.

“Gator’s bark?” John asked, scratching his head. Django just rolled his eyes.

“His bite is exactly what I’m afraid of. Albino or not, he is a gator, Gerald!”

“C’mon, Billie,” Gerald said. “I’ll buy you something. Maybe a pretty rhinestone purse like my momma carries.”

Billie Goat stopped. She had always dreamed of a purse like Miss Ella’s, and it would be extra special if Gerald bought a purse for her. She would treasure it forever!

“You have that kind of money, Gerald?’

“You won’t know unless you come in.”

Gerald walked straight to the old ramshackle shop. The door was closed with a sign that said: CLOSED! BUT COME IN ANYWAY. WE BE WATCHIN’.

Gerald stared at the sign, took a breath and walked closer.

“Gerald, who you think is watchin’?” Billie asked.

Django swayed back and forth nervously, afraid of the shop he had walked past a hundred times but never dared to enter. John ruffled up his feathers and squawked.

“Gerald this is not a good idea,” Django said, still swaying.

“Oh y’all are scaredy cats. It says come in, so who cares if anyone is watching? C’mon Billie.”

Billie, tempted by the idea of a new purse, followed Gerald. “Y’all keep a lookout, and if you see that gator, let out a squawk.” John’s eyes were as big as dish plates and his skinny legs were knocking together.

Gerald opened the door and Billie followed. The only light inside came from a flickering bulb hanging from the rafters and the late afternoon light filtering through dirty old windows. Billie blinked and grabbed hold of Gerald. She sniffed the stale air.

“Stinks in here something awful,” she whispered.

“Let’s just find John a good luck charm and we’ll be on our way.”

Gerald was quite superstitious and believed a good luck charm would make John feel better about fishing again. He had a bunch of charms in the lucky pouch he sometimes wore around his neck. One of his prized possessions in there was a small, smooth stone. It belonged to his daddy before he mysteriously disappeared when Gerald was a baby.

“You go find your charm. I’m going to find me a rhinestone purse!” said Billie looking around. Suddenly she let out a scream and pointed to the counter. “Gerald, there is something crawling on there. I knew I shouldn’t have come in!”

Sure enough there was a small alligator; his glowing eyes stared at them in the dim light. The reptile opened its sharp snout and snapped at Billie. Spooked, she tried to push Gerald back to the door.

“I’m…baaa-aaaa…getting out of here.” Billie said, letting out a nervous bleat.

“Shush, Billie, that little gator can’t hurt us. It’s just a baby. Look, there’s the lucky charm table! Let’s get one and leave the money on the counter.”

Billie had made up her mind to leave when suddenly there was a swishing noise and the smell intensified, like rotting fish on a hot summer day.

“Well, well look who’s here.” Cajungator slinked out from behind a curtain where the cash register was. His white alligator skin glowed through the gloom, and his pink eyes glittered. The foul smell got stronger with every breath.

Billie gasped and grabbed Gerald. Gerald swallowed and tried to speak but his words were stuck in his throat.

“Uh, Mr. Caj, Caj, Cajungator, we, we, uh, uh…”

“No worries, my babies,” Cajungator replied in a deep, calming voice. “I am here to serve. I have been waiting for you. Now just step over here and let me give you a hand, or should I say a tail?” 

Cajungator laughed and his tail swung to and fro as his claws rubbed together in glee.

“I came to buy Billie a purse and just pick up a little lucky charm,” Gerald choked out the words. “What can I buy with this money?”

Billie and Gerald stood nervously together as Cajungator counted the coins at the counter, grinning his big toothy grin. The little gator, not the brightest fellow, wanted to have a little bit of fun while his uncle was counting the money. He suddenly lunged at Gerald to spook him.  

“Gerald, watch out!” Billie screamed.

Gerald made a loud bellowing noise in surprise. By instinct he extended his trunk and grabbed the reptile by the tail and swung him round, flinging him straight out the front door. The young alligator landed with a thud right at the feet of Django and John.

For just a moment there was a flicker of anger in Cajungator's eyes as he stared at Elephant Gerald, but then his large toothy grin came back. At that moment, Billie and Gerald thought they would never get out of the shop alive.

Come back next week to find out if Gerald and Billie can get away from the conniving Cajungator and his Who Do Voodoo Novelty Shop.

The River Beast, Part III

Elephant Gerald had to think fast. His friend John Cole Crane was being dragged down river by an alligator or some horrible river monster. As John was fast approaching, the friends had only one chance to save him before he would be eaten alive.  One of them had to get on the branch of the tupelo tree and pluck John out of the river. There was no way he or Django Rhinoceros could climb up to the branch. Billie was their only hope, but even a goat couldn’t climb a tree this tall without some help.

“Django, you’re the biggest, I need you to stand next to that tree on all fours so I can get on top of you.”

“You crazy Gerald? You wanna’ stand on me?” said Django. “Why don’t we just jump in and get him?"

“Well I’m sure not getting into that water, Django,” said Billie. “You said you saw a big alligator grab John. You want him to have the two-for-one breakfast special?”

“Well, I, uhhhh…okay Gerald you stand on top of me,” Django said, starting to sway nervously. He was still embarrassed that he fibbed about seeing a gator in the water.

Django leaned up to the tree with all four legs on the ground. Now all Gerald had to do was get on Django’s back and have Billie climb up both of them to reach the branch hanging over the river. They had to do it quicker than lightning.

On the first attempt Gerald lost his balance and fell right off Django’s back.

“Hurry, Gerald, hurry!” screamed Billie.

She moved forward to hold Gerald’s front leg for support, and he stayed on this time. John was only about 50 feet from the branch hanging down, and luckily the bend in the river was slowing down the current. John looked at Billie as his legs were being pulled further and further down into the mouth of the beast.

“Billie,” John gasped for air. “I think Big Ike’s got me!”

Billie didn’t want to tell him it probably was an alligator and not a big fish that had him. She backed up, and as steady as goats are on the side of steep mountain cliffs, Billie gracefully jumped from Django’s back to Gerald’s back and up to the branch over the river. She clip-clopped over the branch as far as she could go without it breaking. Her weight was enough to bend it right down into the water. John was near the branch, but he was going to be about 5 feet away from her.

“Johnny, try to swim toward my hoof,” she shouted, dangling her back leg.

“I can’t! I won’t reach you,” John replied in a panic.

“John Cole Crane! You flap those fool wings on over here or I’m gonna’ find myself a shovel to bury you with,” yelled Billie.

At the thought of Billie having to bury the remains of what would be left of his body, John found the will to flap his wings against the current and reach Billie’s overhanging hoof. He reached up with both wings and caught her by the leg. Gerald and Django were so nervous, they hadn’t moved a muscle and were still one on top of each other staring at the scene. Gerald finally snapped out of it, seeing that if Billie didn’t get some help, she was going to fall in, too.

Now normally elephants don’t go around climbing trees. But this certainly was an exception to the rule. Gerald stood up on his hind legs while still on Django. He was so nervous he let out a toot.

“Really, Gerald?” said Django. “Really? Now?”

“Well, I’m sorry! But don’t you move a muscle, Django,” Gerald said as he stood up on his back. Django didn’t say a word. He forgot about Gerald’s badly timed toot, and was too frightened to move.

Elephant Gerald reached up toward the branch and leaned forward on it as much as he could. He streeeeeeeeeeeeettttcccchhhhhhhed his trunk to where Billie could reach it and he puuuuuullllllllled her forward slowly. Suddenly the branch made a big cracking sound. Billie and Gerald looked at each other in a panic.

“Alright,” said Gerald. “I’m going to count to three and pull you hard so we can get you off the branch, and John out of the water.”

“Okay,” said Billie, “just don’t pull that gator out with him!”

“ONE…” said Gerald, “TWO…”

CRACK went the branch before he got to THREE.  As the branch snapped in half, Billie started to fall in the water. Her front legs were holding on to Gerald’s trunk, her hind legs were held tightly by John.  She felt like a rope in a tug-of-war.

Gerald started to fall forward toward the water, but the quick-thinking, nimble-hoofed Django jumped up with Gerald still on his back and tackled him backwards toward the ground. Gerald flew back with Billie flying through the air holding onto his trunk and plucking John out of the water with the large creature still stuck to his legs.

John let out a loud “Squawwwwwwwwkkkkk!”

They landed with a thump like a stack of pancakes, one on top of each other. First Django, then Gerald, then Billie, then John, then…then…  John looked up at the horrible, terrible, gnarly, monstrous thing that had captured him by his legs way back at their fishing spot. And there it was…his saxophone sticking up high in the air with John’s legs still stuck in it, dripping with wet weeds and river mud. Attached to one of the valves was the muddy white cloth John used to carry his saxophone, hanging in the air as if admitting defeat in battle.

The four friends, piled high on each other’s bellies stared up at the river beast saxophone stuck on John’s legs. 

"Why that's the oddest looking alligator these waters have ever seen," said Gerald. Then he started to giggle so hard his belly shook them all. 

Django, on the bottom of the pile let out a big snort. Billie was trying to be mad at John, but she couldn’t hold back and started to chuckle, too. Finally, John Cole Crane, after thinking he was sure to die that day, laughed the loudest of them all.  THE END

 

Next Sunday...meet the scheming, slimy, conniving Cajungator in an all new Elephant Gerald adventure!